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Below are real letters from people just like you who are struggling to make sense of the world and failing miserably. Well, not exactly, but at least they have their health thanks to my brutal honesty and wicked sense of humor, which goes to prove that laughter really IS the best medicine.

If you have a legit problem — relationships, parenting, divorce, dating, social media drama, or finding inner peace — and would like my help, feel free to submit your anonymous request to DEAR SASSYPIEHOLE. I'll do my best to steer you in the right direction, but you might want to hold off before canceling any appointments you have with your therapist. ​
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Looks Like Someone Is Having A Ruff Day With A New Puppy

9/23/2020

 
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​Dear Unlucky Dog,

Everyone knows that Labradoodles are genetically mixed for the sole purpose of limiting allergies in asthmatic and hypersensitive people. The fact that he chose this breed is a telling sign that his actions were intentional, so you may find some comfort in knowing that your husband will be walking around with his tail between his legs soon if he isn't already, but first, let's talk about you.

Here's the thing: you're not allergic, and there is nothing better than seeing your kids roll around on the floor with a furry friend. Pets are a great way to teach children fundamental life lessons — responsibility, empathy, patience — without shoving it down their throats, and watching their faces light up when Sgt. Bilko learns to sit, lie down, or play dead is a gift that will keep on giving. So maybe take some time to enjoy your new houseguest before kicking him to the curb. You might be surprised at how quickly his annoying habits will grow on you.

As for the hubs, Karma is a bitch. When you pull him aside to vent your frustrations, let him know that HE will be the one responsible for walking the dog — in the rain, sleet, snow, or gloom of night  — and carrying its feces around in a bag. You may also wish to remind him of other essential obligations he'll have when caring for your new pet, which includes, but is not limited to, check-ups, flea baths, feedings, and stripping the sheets whenever the dog throws up in the bed. 

Our dog Sadie turns 13 this year; that's 68 in small breed dog years. She was three-years-old the day we met, and I will never forget the look on my daughter's face when I agreed to sign those adoption papers at the rescue. Sadie has brought nothing but joy to our lives since the moment she hopped in the car, and as you can see from the very outdated picture below, throwing my daughter that bone was one of the best decisions I ever made as a mother. 
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​Parenting is a give-and-take with heavy emphasis on giving, but often, the payoff is three-fold. If you focus on the big picture, you may see what I'm talking about and forgive your husband. If not, there's always the dog house.

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