Mom Gives 'Santa Baby' New Meaning

With all the bad things happening in the world around us, it may seem like the worst possible time to breed new life, but if 2020 has taught us anything, it is to chill the fuck out and accept what is to be. It has also opened our eyes to endless possibilities and global change, so adding a new family member this year may be just what the doctor ordered.

Rest assured, your husband will get another job, and it will likely be equal to, if not better than, the one he had. Trust me, worrying over things like this will only lead to problems for you and your unborn child. Now is the time to practice deep breathing and patience. Feel free to subscribe to TOXIQUE for more advice on maintaining your sanity. Nearly losing mine is what prompted me to create that section (and this one) on my website.

If you're worried that your soon-to-be 40 mom bod will crash and burn after giving birth, don't give it another thought. Motherhood is a rite of passage. Consider those your battle scars and use them to your full advantage. Might I suggest milking the hubs for rejuvenation before the baby milks you?

As for how to break the news to him gently: screw that. Let this be your time to shine. Imagine the fun he will have beating a reindeer piñata filled with mini babies or listening to some Nine Inch Nails lullabies. Whatever you decide, make sure he knows that he'll always be your baby because — deep down — that's what every man wants to hear. And tell him I said, "Congratulations!" What a beautiful way to ring in the New Year. It looks like 2021 is shaping up to be the next big thing. There may be hope for us yet.