She Spilled Red Wine All Over Bestie's Dress

Dear Ruby Winehouse,

Either you've got a spy cam set up in our living room, or you're psychic because we just watched "Can't Buy Me Love" — featuring McDreamy — and that's pretty much what happened to the main character. Too bad Cindy Mancini didn't invite me to sit at the cool table; I would have saved her a lot of money.

It just so happens that I had a similar experience with a white pullover fifteen years ago, and I'm not exaggerating when I tell you it looked like a crime scene. Fortunately for you, Ruby, I'm as tenacious as they come. It took two weeks to get my hands on the right merchandise back then (since Amazon was relatively new to the game), but it was well worth the wait.

Ready? Here's what you need to do: First, if you haven't touched the dress yet, DON'T! Any attempts you make to get the stain out on your own could diminish my fool-proof method, so keep your hand off the merchandise and put it somewhere safe, preferably out of sight in a bag somewhere. You know, in case your friend "pops in" on you, uninvited.

Next, get on Amazon (lucky) and order some Wine Away. The link is for the two-pack because you're going to want more when you see how good it works, and not only on red wine. This stuff removes ANYTHING red: wine, lipstick, fruit punch, sauces, ink, blood, and whatever else you might "accidentally" drop on a light-colored outfit.

That pullover sat in my closet — untouched — for two solid weeks. When the product arrived, I sprayed the shit out of it, let it sit for ten minutes, and then ran it through the washing machine. It took a total of three tries to get it all out, but I swear on my father's peanut butter (ha) that it worked. 

Two years ago, my boyfriend and I got into a little tiff during lunch at a Mexican restaurant down the street. He was wearing a brand new mint green Ralph Lauren Seersucker Shirt and made the mistake of ordering Diablo Chicken. Honestly, I've never seen food that orange before, and watching him take that first bite was the highlight of my day because it didn't land in his mouth; it landed — front and center — on his merry little summertime shirt. It's probably a good thing I was still pissed off, or I may have laughed out loud and started another silly argument.

Instead, I bit my lip and watched him rage-eat his picturesque meal, knowing full-well I'd get the stain out later, and if you have EVER tried to remove a stain from a material like that, you know my struggle was real —even with the assistance of a kick-ass product. So, there you have it. If you're a red wine lover, mom, serial killer, or all of the above, I promise THIS will be the best $19.99 you ever spent. If you're still on the fence, scale it back and get the single for half price, and next time order a Vodka. Got a problem? Yo, I'll solve it. SUBMIT YOUR ANONYMOUS QUESTION HERE.