This Punctuation Roller-Coaster is About To Crash Land

Dear Girl Flu,

Summer's almost over, but it sounds like shark week may be heading your way. Fear not, mom, I've got some ideas up my sleeve that might help calm those waves. 

Though I have never, personally, understood the attraction of maturity, many young girls are under a preconceived notion that womanhood is something to celebrate. I'm guessing your soon-to-be twelve-year-old may be one of them. Let's see if she still feels the same way when Aunt Flo shows up at a nudist colony in Jamaica on her honeymoon. But that's a long ways away, so don't start freaking out on me now.

The way I see it, there are two ways you could go here, the latter of which would be my preference. No matter how you decide to handle things, it's going to be awkward, mostly because you're the one she'll come running to while checking in at the Red Roof Inn. So, why not have a little fun while you still have the upper hand.

Assuming you've already had "the talk" with your budding flower, one non-obtrusive approach would be to load up on feminine products. Amazon has everything you need--books, heating pads, candy, and other necessities—to make your own gift basket if you want to go that route. The mother-daughter diary is an excellent way to avoid embarrassing questions, and did you know you also can buy leakproof period panties? Yeah, that's a thing. 

But if you really want to glorify the crimson tide, why not throw your daughter a First Moon Party? I stumbled across this video seven years ago, and couldn't use it myself thanks to COVID, which brings me to my final point. 

Life is short. Sometimes, weird shit happens that makes us uncomfortable. The best way to make things less awkward is to teach kids how to shake off discomfort with laughter. Humiliation comes and goes, but once you master the art of acceptance, facing a delicate moment is like riding a moon cycle.

P.S. Stream your TV to YouTube and watch her face when she sees this. #priceless Got a problem? Yo, I'll solve it. SUBMIT YOUR ANONYMOUS QUESTION HERE.