The Marabou Stork Has Issues
Being a humor writer has awarded me friendships with hundreds of people who share the same sense of humor, giving me a backstage pass to a lifetime of hysterical content. Yesterday, my friend Jill shared something on Facebook that nearly killed me.
"This is the Marabou Stork," wrote Brian Broome. "The Marabou Stork has been going through some shit that you don't even wanna hear about."
Intrigued by the image, and his lead into the story, I continued reading.
"Apart from the Marabou Storks obvious disdain for life and happiness, it also has to live daily with a perm that was administered by a highly unqualified heffa who said she learned how to do hair 'on the streets.'"
He went on to say that the Marabou Stork 'didn't come here for the bullshit.'
The scientific name for the Marabou Stork is Leptoptilos crumenifer which translates to 'Run up and get done up.'"
Below is the remainder of his description, intentionally edited to leave out the last two lines. Enjoy your morning laugh. Follow me on Facebook for more shenanigans.
"What many don't know about the Marabou Stork is that when God made it, He was high on bath salts and Muscatel.
The Marabou Stork believes in smaller government and the free hand of the market.
The Marabou Stork stoled that coat from the backa ya mawmaw's closet.
The wingspan of the Marabou Stork is just wide enough as to comfortably conceal the Virginia hams that it crotch-walks out the Shop-N-Save.
During the winter months, the Marabou Stork likes to spend its time hanging out on park benches calling you a stank ho.
If the Marabou Stork sends you to the store for a bottla likka, you best come back with all of its change right down to penny. The Marabou stork ain't playin' witcho narrow ass neither.
You hear me? keep playin, bitch."
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